Wednesday, August 13, 2008

This is Chelsea saying how it happens and how she feel's

alright, i was asked to write my own entry being as i am a pretty big part of candice's life... so here it is :)

just shy of six months ago, i met one of the most amazing people i have ever met. i wasn't looking for anyone, but immediately felt connected to this wonderful boy. not only was he gorgeous, he was the sweetest thing ever. like a month into what i had already realized was going to be a very important relationship in my life, he asked me if i was good at keeping secrets... me thinking nothing of it, said "it depends on the secret" obviously that wasn't the right answer, we re-visited the topic like a week later... i was asked the same question again, and this time i answered more appropriately.... i said "yes". i was then shown a picture... a picture of this beautiful boy whom i already knew i was falling for, dressed as a girl. and the first thing that came out of my mouth was "thats hot" followed by more things like "do you do your own make-up, you are hotter then me, thats not fair" i guess they weren't the typical questions, because he was taken aback by it. asking me if i wanted to know anything, if i was shocked, etc. and the truth was that i wasn't. and i didn't know why, but i really wasn't. i texted him later, telling him again that i thought it was hot... we discussed it, and decided we would explore this side of him together....

the first time he dressed for me, i was nervous... i kept waiting for the shock, waiting to be weirded out by it. when i saw him, in person as candice, i couldn't deny how pretty he looked. and i still wasn't weirded out.

i took it all in, as much as i could. i was and am legitly attracted to him as candice. and i fully believe that if it were anyone else, i wouldn't be. but he's special, and i have racked my brain for hours trying to figure out why i feel the way i do... but there is no answer.

i decided to play it cool, be alright about it, and not think about it too much, because when i thought about it, i got confused, it was easier to just go with the flow. he told me he wanted to go out dressed, and there was no question in my mind that i wanted to be that person to go with him... after that night, which was huge for him, but also huge for me... i knew that i couldn't deny thinking about it or anything.... it was part of him, and i cared so much about him that i was going to do everything i could to be supportive and be everything he needed.

it came easy to me, because like i said, i like him as candice too. i enjoy having fun with candice, going out with her, taking pictures,picking out outfits for her, and doing her make-up. i have been told that people like me are rare, and to me that seems crazy. i love this boy, so why wouldn't i love everything about him. i have no reason to judge him, or anything else, when he does so much good for me.

my acceptance of him and of candice, has done nothing but wonders for our relationship. and now, the way i see it.. is that i am the luckiest girl ever, because i get the best of both worlds... i get a boyfriend and a girlfriend.... and really who doesn't want that??

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