Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Dinner with my twin sister

I had an awesome dinner with my sister Cassandra and my wife Chelsea. I was nervous because I had a feeling that the conversation would sway towards my thoughts of transition although my sister has known I have dressed for a long time as a women, the only one I have discussed transition with is my wife. 

We had some great casual conversation but the one thing that stood out to me  the most was, since I don't hide me being trans on social media my family gets questions all the time about me. I guess people feel more comfortable asking my family about me being trans then just asking me about it. So my sister shared with me other family members talking to my dad about me being trans which in it self is a lot to deal with mentally. 

The conversation did come up in regards to transition and my sister was so great about it. Asking question and showing her support. She kinda has always had the view that it doesn't matter and that I need to be true to myself. 

We enjoyed dinner and after saying good bye to my sister my wife and I stopped by target to grab a fault in our stars so we could have a pj and movie party after we got home. All in all the day was amazing and I couldn't have asked for a better day 

Monday, September 15, 2014

Halloween 2014

I think I figured out who I am going to be 
Bell. I have always related to her elegance and grace and of course I love her dark brown hair 

Hopefully I can find a dress similar to this one

Sunday, September 14, 2014

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Told that my blog was a great resource and inspiration :-)

I had a close friend of mine from the past tell me that my blog was an inspiration and a great resource and that she wanted to share it with a group of people she thought might enjoy it. 

I have been writing on and off here for years and always wanted it to be more then an outlet for myself but a way to tell my story to others who want to listen. Anyways thank you to anybody who reads and I hope we get to talk sometime :-). 

Conversations of transition

I came out of the closet as a gender fluid person in my late teens early 20s and have been  increasingly open about who I am in regards to gender over the past 8 years.  Examples of this would be not separating my social networks and not restraining myself from going to places I have been known as male when I am presenting as a female. This has been an amazing way to live (not confining myself to normal gender roles) and having a wife who understands and excepts me for being a gender fluid person has helped me grow into the person I am at this point of my life. 

I can talk about all the things that have happened over the last eight years but that's not where I was going with this blog. Where I wanted to go was as of lately the conversation of transitioning has been a prominent and continual conversation my wife and I have been having for the last couple months.  I have to say that Chelsea I think sensed something from me and created a safe place to start a conversation about the possibilities of transitioning. This also has been spurred on by seeing amazing transgender advocates such as Laura Jane Grace and Bailey Jay make such a great statement in society and make such a great example of what it means to be a transgender women in society.  

I have finally came to the decision to seek out a therapist who specializes in gender and can help me walk through my thoughts and what that means. Also helping me get to my more genuine self what ever that might mean. 

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Those moments of tdbs

We all have those moments when the tdbs (transgender dysphoria blues) hit us the hardest we just have to make it through today and move on to the next each day growing and building up to our true north (our true self) stay strong my fellow true trans soul rebels 

Monday, September 1, 2014

Cute and sexy photo shoot

I don't normally post pictures like this but lately I have been inspired by women who don't let people dictate what they do.  Feeling sexy and wanting others to see you that way is never bad. Thank you to those women who have inspired me. 

I have been talking to Chelsea about doing a really fun photo shoot for my blog and that I wanted to pick out a cute but sexy lingerie outfit to shoot in. So after work a couple days ago I had a fun shopping day at Victoria's secret looking and picking out different outfits I thought might be a possibility. Most were too sexy and to common and that's when I found the one I knew I had to have this one 
As soon as I saw it I knew it was exactly the perfect piece for the photo shoot that I envisioned. 

Of course as soon as I got home I wanted to get all dolled up and take pictures but it wasn't possible since I at the time wouldn't have a day off for another 8 days but I did know that I would have time after work on Sunday, a couple days later. 

Flash forward to yesterday and everything went as smooth as possible getting ready.  I still was extremely nervous about how my photos were going to come out, which I know both cis and trans people have feelings about. I was feeling that way from the time I woke up on Sunday.

My wife and I had fun doing our make up and joking about random stuff and of course having some pretty tasty drinks at the time helped out with the silliness. 

Finally we started taking pictures and Chelsea helped me tremendously with my poses which as we all know can make or break a picture. And I can't lie I was trying to channel my inner bailey jay and I think it worked. 

Here are a couple of the pictures I hope you enjoy them 

The end of the night, after the photo shoot was filled with more drinks some awesome Chinese food and some fun movie time. I couldn't have ask for a betters girls night.