Tuesday, December 8, 2009


was amazing we had a blast dancing and looking sexy. it was pretty crazy i have never been around so many people as candice and i dont think very many people knew i was born a guy it was a really good feeling. i cant beleive how many guys hit on me when i was there it definatly made me feel pretty. also this was the first time i met my fiances dad as candice and he couldnt have been more supportive. sorry for this post being so late i havent gon out for a while so i havent been on latly. until next time xoxox Candice

pics from halloween sorry there so late

Monday, September 7, 2009

New Wig and Old and New Friends

Last week my girlfriend and I noticed a couple sitting a couple feet away from us, what we noticed was this couple was much like us being that they both liked to wear dresses... this weekend i was not dressed up but still felt the need to go and talk to them because lets face it there isnt that many of us out there. we invited Necole and Vicki out this last weekend to dragalicious (a local drag show in sacramento) along with our friend jessica. we ended up not really watching the show just all talking and it was really nice listening to stories that we both related to and our significant others related to as well. after we all had more then a couple drinks we all started to relax and really enjoyed the nice environment and each others company. o ya we had to save our friend from a guy that wanted to get in her pants and was a little to presistant "he was really having trouble understanding we didnt want him around. So thank you Vicki, Necole, Andrea, Jessica, andy and chelsea for a great night out.

I promised a Pic of my new Wig so here it is... what do you think

Monday, August 17, 2009

Dragalicious and hot rods

Last night Chelsea and I decided it would be alot of fun to go out and watch the local drag show which spurred the two hour process of getting ready for a night out on the town, lucky the getting ready process was made a little easier because I just got brand new razors to shave with (it may be random to tell u that but I am sure u understand what a new razor feels like compared to an old one). We made it to the show early enough to have a few cocktails before it started just to get primed for the festivities ahead. I have never considered myself a drag queen or a crossdresser or any of the
many other terms out there to describe people that don't care to abide by the restraints of the gender norms but last night all I could think was how great the queens looked and performed and how fun it would be to do a show maybe even if it was only one time. This is the first time I had thought that mainly because i have always thought that drag queens had these huge personas that filt more like a mockery of women instead of creating a positive image of women which i filt I could never do. Anyways I do feel that if I could get the confidence up to do a show it would really improve my persona as a women.

-- Post From My iPhone

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

A new wig

Chelsea and me just ordered a new wig and we are so excited to get it. With this wig we will be able to style it different ways. We can flat iron it or blow dry or curl it. Now u would think this is the best part about the wig but the other great thing is my girlfriends mom moon is paying for part of it for my birthday and my sister carrie also wanted to pay for part of it... Wow never in a million years did I think that would happen I am surrounded by so many people who support and care about me. Anyways here is a couple pics of the wig and remember I am getting it in a dark brown color.

-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, July 18, 2009

It had been three weeks

Just like the title says... It had been three weeks or so since the last time I went out. Wow such a long time to not be Candice, will anyways getting back to last night. It started out decently enjoying a glass of wine and watching some tv with my girlfriend before getting ready to go out. Now we try to get ready at slightly different times so we don't get in each others way because we can get a little catty if one of us is hogging the mirror. We were finally ready to go at a about nine o clock and ready to go to one of our favorite clubs faces. We park and start walking to the club a couple guys make some comments about how nice we look and we just smile and keep walking. Once in we grabbed a couple drinks and settled in we got hot walking around the club so we decided to go outside this is were it gets interesting. As we sit there we get approached by a pretty good looking guy who was about 23 he introduces himself and started talking so I pretty much think that he knows I am a guy so I am just talking and having a good time when he really starts asking me questions and flirting with me he asked me if I was gay and I said well it's a little more confusing then that (the fact that I am dressed like a woman and am in a relationship with Chelsea but I am a man lol) and then I asked him and he said that he wasn't gay that's when I was like ummm in my head I was like I am a guy lol. He kept hinting and sayin that me and him should hang out sometime and I just kept playing it off like I didn't hear what he said. This whole time Chelsea my girlfriend is kinda laughing under her breath. After that we walked and got something to eat and made it home at about midnight because I had to open the next morning.

Monday, July 13, 2009

I think I want this dress

I think it would look decent with a black cardigen

Polka Dot Party Dress

: A fun and fabulous polka dot strapless dress featuring a lightly flared skirt with a ruffled hem, a front pintucked waist, and a smocked upper back. Finished with a wide removable waist tie. Hidden side zipper closure, unlined.
- 26'' approx length from bust to hem

-- Post From My iPhone

So just some random thoughts

It's been a little to long since the last time I had a chance to be all dolled up. I beleive it's been close to three weeks or more. It's when it's been this long that u realize how much being trans is a part of your life. How important it is to
Out wordly express your feminine beauty and life style. Other then that I am pretty much always the same whether I am in a dress or jeans except I maybe a little more concerned on how I look as Candice. I am hoping to get a new wig soon which I hope will stouk the fire of going out. Also I will be going out as Candice in Minneapolis early august because me and chelsea will be there visiting her friends and family

-- Post From My iPhone

Friday, July 10, 2009

So i am just now blogging about Pride last month Sorry

Pride was amazing i knew that most of the day i was going to spend as Candice out in the day light enjoying the great weather. the weather was so nice that me and my girlfriend walked to the festival, i cant lie and say i wasn't nervous walking through a un tg friendly zone in day light because i was but once we got to the festival and Chelsea insured me that i looked fantastic i finally able to have a good time. we enjoyed garlic fries and chicken strips and some really good performances and of course the beer gardens, the only thing that kind of surprised me was the sacramento tg group that was there werent very friendly to me it was very dissappointing but the sacramento gems really made me feel good to be trans "you girls are amazing." i have to say that my favorite part of the day was exactly that spending the day as candice with my great girlfriend chelsea she always makes me feel so much like a women

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

So I have been going to the gym and if u are trans then u know my issues

Being trans and going to the gym has to be one of the crazest mind games ever. You go to the gym trying to get healthy and being trans you tell yourself "I am going to concentrate on cardio and leaning my muscles so I am not so bulky" but as u work out u seem to just continue to gain size and start looking more masculine. It sucks because u just can't help it because of the amount of testosterone we have in our body as being biological males and not on female horomones. If u go through this you are not alone and if u have any pointers please let me know. I hate being dissappointed when I leave a gym just not because I am less healthy but because my shoulders are to big for my new dress

-- Post From My iPhone

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I came out to my boss...

So me and my girlfriend went and had some drinks with my boss. After about three drinks and feeling a little buzzed our conversation started down the path of exceptance of alternate life styles. So I laid it on him, I showed him a pic of me as a girl and he said I was beautiful and that he was happy that I was able to be the person I feel I am and that I let him into that part of my life. It couldn't have gone any better than that. The night ended when he gave me a hug and said thank you

-- Post From My iPhone

Monday, June 8, 2009

Michael Rowe

Michael Rowe

Posted: June 2, 2009 10:04 PM

KRXQ Sacramento Radio Hosts Encourage Violence Against Transgender Children

Even by the flexible moral, ethical, and professional standards of American talk radio, the May 28th segment of KRXQ 98.5 FM Sacramento's Rob, Arnie, & Dawn in the Morning radio talk show makes for a sickening half-hour of ugliness and cruelty. For once, the focus was not LGBT adults, but minors. The hosts, Rob Williams and Arnie States, devoted the segment in question to a vicious diatribe against transgender children, some as young as five, focusing in particular on the case of one Omaha family raising a gender dysphoric child, and their decision to support her transition from male to female.

Williams and States took turns referring to gender dysphoric children as "idiots" and "freaks," who were just out "for attention" and had "a mental disorder that just needs to somehow be gotten out of them," either by verbal abuse on the part of the parents, or even shock therapy.

"Allowing transgenders to exist, pretty soon it becomes normal to fall in love with the animals," they said.

For his part, States bragged that if his own son were to ever dare put on a pair of high heels, States would beat his son with one of his own shoes. He urged parents whose own little boys expressed a desire to wear a dress to verbally abuse and degrade them as a viable response. "Because you know what? Boys don't wear high heel shoes. And in my house, they definitely don't wear high heels.

"I'm going to go, 'You know what? You're a little idiot! You little dumbass!'" States sneered, adding later, "I look forward to when [the transgender children] go out into society and society beats them down. And they wind up in therapy."

Or dead.

In light of the well-publicized suicides this year of the two boys who took their own lives because of bullying and harassment for "acting gay" (which, in the argot of modern North American teenagers, often refers to acting in a way considered unmasculine by their peers) the stunning lack of moral sensibility on the part of States and Williams is breathtaking. But it also points to the increasingly degraded landscape of talk radio.

The causal link between Bill O'Reilly's obsessive baiting of abortion provider Dr. George Tiller on FOX and Tiller's murder on Sunday, May 31st as he was ushering in his Kansas City church, is currently being explored, an exploration particularly relevant in the case of Rob, Arnie, and Dawn in the Morning, and the potential violent fallout from their inexplicably rage-filled invective against not only transgender children, but even boys who err on the feminine side of standard adolescent behavior, behavior States and Williams consider unnatural because "men are hunters and women are gatherers."

I shudder to imagine the response of the late Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover's mother if she'd had the misfortune to hear the KRXQ broadcast.

"They were always saying [to Carl] 'You're gay, you must be gay, you act like a girl'," Sideaner L. Walker told the press in April, speaking of the dead son she had to cut down from the support beam he hung himself from after months of taunts from his peers---taunts that likely bore more than a passing resemblance to the invective used by States and Williams on their May 28th broadcast.

"I'm not open-minded once I look into sumpin'" one of the two men grunted at the beginning of the segment, their voices interchangeable. "I have every right to call you a freak and judge you on that. It makes me sick. 'Mommy, I'm a girl trapped in a boy's body,'" he simpered, mimicking an effeminate little boy. "I want to wear a dwess."

They berated co-host Dawn Rossi, who seemed genuinely horrified by the rising crescendo of ugliness towards the children and their parents from States and Williams.

"You're actually defending allowing people to become freaks?" they seethed. "A boy who wants to wear a dress is a freak. A nut." Comparing transgender children to "fat bastard kids on Maury," States and Williams urged advocates of transgender children to "stop hiding behind research and laws," whose authority they wholeheartedly reject. Braying with the certitude of the jubilantly ignorant, States and Williams revealed to listeners that "transgenders [sic] did not exist four decades ago," apparently unaware of the historical fact that transgender individuals have existed in every culture throughout recorded history, including in native American cultures where the "two spirited" were revered as teachers, healers, and shamans.

By no objective standard are dumbed-down, Wal-Mart versions of O'Reilly like States and Williams journalists. Nor are they really experts on anything other than plunging the overflowing toilets of their listeners' psyches and selling the sewage back to them, repackaged as "insight," "common sense" and "plain talk" from fake-macho blowhards hiding behind radio microphones.

One doesn't need a primer on transgender or transsexual history in order to appreciate the awesome brutality of the KRXQ shock-jocks' diatribe. All one needs is to know a child, any child. They're small, they're vulnerable, and their world is populated with gods whose divinity is derived solely from their adulthood and perceived authority.

States and Williams chose to use that authority to attack a segment of the childhood population who are more vulnerable than almost any other. Transgender children are at a point in their lives when they feel their own bodies are the enemy, and alien to them. Many of them go to bed praying that when they wake up their bodies and their inner gender will be aligned.

"If the kid ever gets to be eighteen," States snarled, "and says 'I still feel like a woman!' you say, 'Get out! Go be a freak! And understand, SON, that society will never accept you because we still have some moral judgment."

As disturbing as it has become to an increasingly enlightened segment of the mainstream American population to hear LGBT adults vilified and degraded in the media as the discussion over gay marriage and Don't Ask, Don't Tell reaches a boiling point, no one with even a passing acquaintanceship with decency could have been prepared for KRXQ's May 28th pageant of brutality towards transgender children.

Who are, after all, children, first and foremost. Trusting, innocent, and vulnerable, they ought to be beyond the reach of the violent, hate-mongering adult rhetoric that is taken for granted in American talk radio. One needs no particular sympathy for transgender people to understand the prodigious boundary transgression of promoting contempt and disgust towards children,anyone's children, on a radio show.

This should give serious pause to adults of every political, economic, and social background, whatever their stand on LGBT issues. It should be of particular concern to KRXQ's advertisers and their customers.

My little godson Michael is the light of my life. His father was a hockey player and his mother is a legendary beauty. He embodies the best of those two people to absolute perfection. It's been educational to watch his awareness of his own masculine gender assert itself in the last few years. His gender identity wasn't "learned," it came to him already hardwired, in the same way studies continue to show that a transgender child's gender is hardwired. And whatever else his struggles may be in later life, I personally doubt that gender identity is going to be one of them.

But his gentleness and his vulnerability brings my protectiveness into hyper-focus. And if he wanted to wear a dress, or told me he was a girl, my instinct as an adult would be to protect him and try to understand him.

I can only imagine the perfect horror of having someone like States as a father. But if anyone ever called my godson a "sick little freak," or a "nut," or a "freak of nature," or beat him with a shoe for being himself, I could not, and would not, be held accountable for my reaction, or my inevitable response.

I know which end of the shoe I would be on if I ever met another adult who took the official Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning child-rearing advice to heart after hearing it on KRXQ 98.5 FM Sacramento.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Pics From Second Sat Like I Promised

Second Saturday in march

Me and my girlfriend went out this last second Saturday in Sacramento and I couldn't believe how many people were out enjoying the beutiful night. Now in the past I might have not even gone out knowing that downtown would have had so many people out and about but deffinatly am not the same candice I was almost a year ago.

Earlier on sat we went shopping and I bought the cutest little super short black silk dress(pics coming soon) so I knew I was only going to be pretty that night but I was going to be hot.

When we were walking around downtown it was windy and my silk dress kept blowing up other then that it was really nice to feel so pretty around town with so many people around... That night I filt as hot as any girl would

-- Post From My iPhone

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Last Night

My girlfriend Chelsea, Lindsay, Mike and me all went out last night to the Mercantile, Faces and Hot Rods it was a pretty good night there was a couple if instances with this really drunk guy trying to touch my boobs and was messing with Lindsay and Chelsea as well but the security guard stopped him. anyways it was a good nite i had bought some new make up and it worked perfectly and had fun with some friends

Sunday, February 8, 2009

Jude Law like you have never seen before

E! News Now - Jude Looks Like a Lady

Black and White

Pictures from getting ready on Saturday 02-07-08


A trend of transgender movies

A feast of transgender and intersex films are highlighted at the Austin Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival

Friday, August 29, 2008

Do nine transgender and intersex films make a trend? They do if they're all playing during the Austin Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival, Wednesday through Sept. 7.

Films about transgender characters are not as rare as you might think. A raft of contemporary features — 'The Crying Game,' 'Boys Don't Cry,' 'Hedwig and the Angry Inch,' 'Transamerica,' to name a few — dealt seriously with the issue. At least two entire film festivals — in Seattle and the Netherlands — are devoted to transgender-themed movies.

And now this bounty at Austin's running-strong gay and lesbian film celebration, movies that walk the tricky line between gender identification, be it physical, psychological, or both. All films screen at the Alamo Ritz. Find more information about each title at www.agliff.org.

'Manuela y Manuel' (5 p.m. Wednesday) — The star of this Puerto Rican feature is the transgender Manuela, a drag-queen performer who finds herself in a heap of difficulties, including having to pose as the father of her best friend's child.

'Trinidad' (8 p.m. Thursday) — An intimate look at three transgender women's lives in the rural burgh of Trinidad, Colo., the unofficial 'sex change capital of the world.' By Austin filmmakers PJ Raval and Jay Hodges.

'Like a Virgin' (8 p.m. Sept. 5 on two screens) — This mainstream South Korean hit blends pathos and comedy to etch a portrait of a fat, Madonna-adoring teenager who's trying to save money for a sex-change operation. Hilarity and heartache follow.

'XXY' (3 p.m. Sept. 7) — Born with an extra chromosome, Alex is an intersex teenager who was raised female in this popular coming-of-age drama from Argentina. Parents, romance, plastic surgery ... And you thought your teen years were tough.

These shorts are part of the Gender Queer Shorts program at 2:30 p.m. Sept. 7:

'Tranny McGuyver' — A trio of rookie cops creates a circus of winky satire.

'Clouded'A young boy's journey to self-discovery hits dramatic familial hurdles.

'Simply Love' — A woman in Austria looks for a former lover, who is now a woman. Love really is blind in this 50-minute documentary.

'Diva'— Paris isn't always so lovely, as Vincent, in a blinding magenta dress, learns painfully.

'I, I and We' — Surreal identity games on the New York subway. — Chris Garcia

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Obama administration reveals plans to advance gay agenda

.- Citing what they call America’s “promise of equality,” the Obama administration plans to push for homosexual rights by including protections of sexual orientation, “gender identity” and “gender expression” as civil rights. His office proposes expanding hate crimes statues and the adoption rights of homosexuals while supporting full civil unions for “LGBT couples” to give them “legal rights and privileges equal to those of married couples.”

The proposals are announced under the Civil Rights section of their agenda presented at Change.gov, the web site of the Obama campaign’s self-described “Office of the President-elect.”

A section titled “Support for the LGBT Community” outlines the agenda for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered activists and quotes remarks Obama made on June 1, 2007.

“While we have come a long way since the Stonewall riots in 1969, we still have a lot of work to do,” Obama said, referring to riots which followed a police raid on a New York City gay bar.

“Too often, the issue of LGBT rights is exploited by those seeking to divide us. But at its core, this issue is about who we are as Americans. It's about whether this nation is going to live up to its founding promise of equality by treating all its citizens with dignity and respect."

According to the web site, President-elect Obama and vice-president-elect Joe Biden will support expand crimes legislation such as the Matthew Shepard Act. They also back the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), which they claim will “prohibit discrimination based on sexual orientation or gender identity or expression.”

“While an increasing number of employers have extended benefits to their employees' domestic partners, discrimination based on sexual orientation in the workplace occurs with no federal legal remedy,” the web site states, referring to similar legislation sponsored by Obama in the Illinois state legislature.

Regarding civil unions and same-sex marriage, the site says “Barack Obama supports full civil unions that give same-sex couples legal rights and privileges equal to those of married couples.”

Advocating the repeal of the Defense of Marriage Act, the agenda plans to “enact legislation that would ensure that the 1,100+ federal legal rights and benefits currently provided on the basis of marital status are extended to same-sex couples in civil unions and other legally-recognized unions.”

The site also references Obama’s Senate vote against the Federal Marriage Amendment in 2006 which, in the site’s words, “would have defined marriage as between a man and a woman and prevented judicial extension of marriage-like rights to same-sex or other unmarried couples.”

On the subject of adoption rights, the Change.gov web site states: “Barack Obama believes that we must ensure adoption rights for all couples and individuals, regardless of their sexual orientation. He thinks that a child will benefit from a healthy and loving home, whether the parents are gay or not.”

The Obama agenda further advocates the repeal of the military’s “Don’t Ask-Don’t Tell” policy barring open homosexuals from serving in the military.

Its AIDS prevention policies also pledge to enact a “comprehensive” national strategy including contraceptive sex education and “combating infection within our prison population through education and contraception.”

Monday, January 19, 2009

i am not sure if i should call it coming out anymore

So i have come to an amazing realization, that i am not sure if i am still coming out to people or if i am just being myself and people i know just happen to see me. in this last month i have "come out" to Andy my girlfriends brother my friend Jason who i have known for years and my friend anneka who i have known since i was in junior high. i am fortunate that most people have been amazingly except able of me. but i guess i am not coming out just being myself.

o wait i have to tell you about a really funny incident that happen to me a couple weeks ago. Me and a couple of my friends frequent the same straight club almost every week and i have always noticed that one of the security guards was a fellow baseball player from high school. he had never noticed me because i look so different lol. in my thoughts i always figured that if he did notice it would be really hard for him to except, well back to the story. we walk up and i am wearing a brand new beautiful silk dress and feeling super pretty thats when i notice that the usuall guard that checks IDS at the door wasnt there and it was Richard my ex fellow baseball team mate. as i get closer to him my heart races faster and faster as i reach for my id that says the name of a guy he use to hang with in high school. i finally reach him and he say hi and ask how i was doing i said fine... he still didnt know he knew me and thats when he asked for my id i gave it to him he looked at it then looked at me and looked at it again and then he said.......... dude how have you been i said good and he smiled and put on my wrist band. i think thats when i realized that being me is amazing.

P.S. here are some new pics

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Lady J pop Group

Lady (group)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
Origin South Korea
Genre(s) K-pop
Years active 2005–2007
Sinae (신애)
Sahara (사하라)
Binu (비누)
Yuna (유나)

Lady (Hangul: 레이디) was a Korean pop group, noted as the first transgender group from that country.[1] The band consisted of Sinae, Sahara, Binu and Yuna. According to the official story, they were the best out of hundreds who tried out to be part of this band. Although only three were supposed to be in the group, a fourth was added at the last minute.

Their formation was inspired by the emergence of Harisu, a Korean singer and actress, who is also transgendered. Sinae has previously appeared in commercials with a female dance group as well as a music video by Cho PD, and Sahara is a 2003 beauty pageant winner in Thailand and a former jeans model.

Lady released their first album in 2005, consisting of only a few tracks, with many of them being remixes of their first two singles, "Attention" and "Ladies Night". There was much attention given to them by the press, given their unique status as a transgendered band in a conservative country.[2] However, they were able to perform on Korean music shows only a handful of times, while their music and videos were not well-received. In order to drum up more publicity, they released a photobook featuring nude shots of all the Lady members; [3] this also failed to catapult them into stardom, however.

Lady officially disbanded in early 2007.[4]

life has been good and i am moving out!!!

I am moving downtown with my girlfriend, which is amazing! we will finally have a place of our own.

ok ok definitely a part of me is excited because i know that i am going to be able to be Candice more freely and easily. but also because i am moving out with a great girl and i cant think of anything bad that could come of it.

Also i though i would share with you the beautiful new dress i bought the other day from Express. check it out i hope you think it is hot. i love it.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Its Been a While but this is whats going on

So i first want to say that i have slowly been progressing my going out as Candice, i was going out about once a week now i am pretty close to going out three times a week except for the holidays which showing up for X-mas dinner in a dress probably isn't the best thing to do to my grandmother anyways.

i have been having a lot of thoughts about society lately and i am not sure if its just me or the environment i live in, but i feel like the majority of the people in my life are very open to the idea of who i am its nice. although i have run into the the not so open minded people.