Working on myself

So although it's been very exciting starting therapy and soon starting mones  I can't lie and say when I look back on things how hard it is to realize how much pain and sadness I choked down in and out not being able to be seen as the true me on an everyday bases 

When life says it's time

For the last three months my wife and I as you may know have been talking about me transitioning. I have been very lucky to have her to open up to and be as transparent with but at the same time know I need to seek the help of a professional. 

Randomly one of my days at work (in a cosmetic store) I started a conversation like I normally do and long story short I ask what she does for work and she said she works at the gender health center in sacramento. I automatically was very interested because I have been wanting to reach out to the center for a very long time but have always found a way to forget or not go through with it. We exchanged information and I thought that would be it. 

That is until she reached out to me and started a dialogue about my blog and opened up the invitation to the center. She was very kind and even asked what I prefer to go by. So even though she opened up the invitation I still wasn't actively reaching out, even though ever morning I wake up saying today is the day I call. 

So in conclusion today is the day I am going to set up my first appointment  with a therapist in regards to me transitioning. I can't ignore getting healthy anymore. 

Somethings will change some won't

Loved relaxing on the couch with my wife last night something's will never change and the time spent in comfys wife my lover next to me as I play some video games is something that won't ever change. 

Sisters dinner

I am going to try and keep this one short and simple. I just had an amazing dinner with my sisters yesterday. We had a great time and most of the time was spent outlining what it means to be trans and what the future looks like for me. They were extremely accepting and open to listening. I know that mistakes happen in terms of misgendering and with time that will fade. I am also looking forward to the times where my transness doesn't need to be a topic or subject with my sisters and we can just enjoy being sisters. I am blessed to have them in my life and am looking forward to spending more time with them.