Halloween

was amazing we had a blast dancing and looking sexy. it was pretty crazy i have never been around so many people as candice and i dont think very many people knew i was born a guy it was a really good feeling. i cant beleive how many guys hit on me when i was there it definatly made me feel pretty. also this was the first time i met my fiances dad as candice and he couldnt have been more supportive. sorry for this post being so late i havent gon out for a while so i havent been on latly. until next time xoxox Candice

pics from halloween sorry there so late

New Wig and Old and New Friends

Last week my girlfriend and I noticed a couple sitting a couple feet away from us, what we noticed was this couple was much like us being that they both liked to wear dresses... this weekend i was not dressed up but still felt the need to go and talk to them because lets face it there isnt that many of us out there. we invited Necole and Vicki out this last weekend to dragalicious (a local drag show in sacramento) along with our friend jessica. we ended up not really watching the show just all talking and it was really nice listening to stories that we both related to and our significant others related to as well. after we all had more then a couple drinks we all started to relax and really enjoyed the nice environment and each others company. o ya we had to save our friend from a guy that wanted to get in her pants and was a little to presistant "he was really having trouble understanding we didnt want him around. So thank you Vicki, Necole, Andrea, Jessica, andy and chelsea for a great night out.

I promised a Pic of my new Wig so here it is... what do you think

Dragalicious and hot rods

Last night Chelsea and I decided it would be alot of fun to go out and watch the local drag show which spurred the two hour process of getting ready for a night out on the town, lucky the getting ready process was made a little easier because I just got brand new razors to shave with (it may be random to tell u that but I am sure u understand what a new razor feels like compared to an old one). We made it to the show early enough to have a few cocktails before it started just to get primed for the festivities ahead. I have never considered myself a drag queen or a crossdresser or any of the
many other terms out there to describe people that don't care to abide by the restraints of the gender norms but last night all I could think was how great the queens looked and performed and how fun it would be to do a show maybe even if it was only one time. This is the first time I had thought that mainly because i have always thought that drag queens had these huge personas that filt more like a mockery of women instead of creating a positive image of women which i filt I could never do. Anyways I do feel that if I could get the confidence up to do a show it would really improve my persona as a women.



-- Post From My iPhone

A new wig

Chelsea and me just ordered a new wig and we are so excited to get it. With this wig we will be able to style it different ways. We can flat iron it or blow dry or curl it. Now u would think this is the best part about the wig but the other great thing is my girlfriends mom moon is paying for part of it for my birthday and my sister carrie also wanted to pay for part of it... Wow never in a million years did I think that would happen I am surrounded by so many people who support and care about me. Anyways here is a couple pics of the wig and remember I am getting it in a dark brown color.










-- Post From My iPhone

It had been three weeks

Just like the title says... It had been three weeks or so since the last time I went out. Wow such a long time to not be Candice, will anyways getting back to last night. It started out decently enjoying a glass of wine and watching some tv with my girlfriend before getting ready to go out. Now we try to get ready at slightly different times so we don't get in each others way because we can get a little catty if one of us is hogging the mirror. We were finally ready to go at a about nine o clock and ready to go to one of our favorite clubs faces. We park and start walking to the club a couple guys make some comments about how nice we look and we just smile and keep walking. Once in we grabbed a couple drinks and settled in we got hot walking around the club so we decided to go outside this is were it gets interesting. As we sit there we get approached by a pretty good looking guy who was about 23 he introduces himself and started talking so I pretty much think that he knows I am a guy so I am just talking and having a good time when he really starts asking me questions and flirting with me he asked me if I was gay and I said well it's a little more confusing then that (the fact that I am dressed like a woman and am in a relationship with Chelsea but I am a man lol) and then I asked him and he said that he wasn't gay that's when I was like ummm in my head I was like I am a guy lol. He kept hinting and sayin that me and him should hang out sometime and I just kept playing it off like I didn't hear what he said. This whole time Chelsea my girlfriend is kinda laughing under her breath. After that we walked and got something to eat and made it home at about midnight because I had to open the next morning.

I think I want this dress

I think it would look decent with a black cardigen


OVERVIEW | SIZE CHART | BACK
Polka Dot Party Dress

$27.80
: A fun and fabulous polka dot strapless dress featuring a lightly flared skirt with a ruffled hem, a front pintucked waist, and a smocked upper back. Finished with a wide removable waist tie. Hidden side zipper closure, unlined.
- 26'' approx length from bust to hem

-- Post From My iPhone

So just some random thoughts

It's been a little to long since the last time I had a chance to be all dolled up. I beleive it's been close to three weeks or more. It's when it's been this long that u realize how much being trans is a part of your life. How important it is to
Out wordly express your feminine beauty and life style. Other then that I am pretty much always the same whether I am in a dress or jeans except I maybe a little more concerned on how I look as Candice. I am hoping to get a new wig soon which I hope will stouk the fire of going out. Also I will be going out as Candice in Minneapolis early august because me and chelsea will be there visiting her friends and family


-- Post From My iPhone

So i am just now blogging about Pride last month Sorry

Pride was amazing i knew that most of the day i was going to spend as Candice out in the day light enjoying the great weather. the weather was so nice that me and my girlfriend walked to the festival, i cant lie and say i wasn't nervous walking through a un tg friendly zone in day light because i was but once we got to the festival and Chelsea insured me that i looked fantastic i finally able to have a good time. we enjoyed garlic fries and chicken strips and some really good performances and of course the beer gardens, the only thing that kind of surprised me was the sacramento tg group that was there werent very friendly to me it was very dissappointing but the sacramento gems really made me feel good to be trans "you girls are amazing." i have to say that my favorite part of the day was exactly that spending the day as candice with my great girlfriend chelsea she always makes me feel so much like a women

So I have been going to the gym and if u are trans then u know my issues

Being trans and going to the gym has to be one of the crazest mind games ever. You go to the gym trying to get healthy and being trans you tell yourself "I am going to concentrate on cardio and leaning my muscles so I am not so bulky" but as u work out u seem to just continue to gain size and start looking more masculine. It sucks because u just can't help it because of the amount of testosterone we have in our body as being biological males and not on female horomones. If u go through this you are not alone and if u have any pointers please let me know. I hate being dissappointed when I leave a gym just not because I am less healthy but because my shoulders are to big for my new dress





-- Post From My iPhone

I came out to my boss...

So me and my girlfriend went and had some drinks with my boss. After about three drinks and feeling a little buzzed our conversation started down the path of exceptance of alternate life styles. So I laid it on him, I showed him a pic of me as a girl and he said I was beautiful and that he was happy that I was able to be the person I feel I am and that I let him into that part of my life. It couldn't have gone any better than that. The night ended when he gave me a hug and said thank you


-- Post From My iPhone

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Posted: June 2, 2009 10:04 PM

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KRXQ Sacramento Radio Hosts Encourage Violence Against Transgender Children

Even by the flexible moral, ethical, and professional standards of American talk radio, the May 28th segment of KRXQ 98.5 FM Sacramento's Rob, Arnie, & Dawn in the Morning radio talk show makes for a sickening half-hour of ugliness and cruelty. For once, the focus was not LGBT adults, but minors. The hosts, Rob Williams and Arnie States, devoted the segment in question to a vicious diatribe against transgender children, some as young as five, focusing in particular on the case of one Omaha family raising a gender dysphoric child, and their decision to support her transition from male to female.

Williams and States took turns referring to gender dysphoric children as "idiots" and "freaks," who were just out "for attention" and had "a mental disorder that just needs to somehow be gotten out of them," either by verbal abuse on the part of the parents, or even shock therapy.

"Allowing transgenders to exist, pretty soon it becomes normal to fall in love with the animals," they said.

For his part, States bragged that if his own son were to ever dare put on a pair of high heels, States would beat his son with one of his own shoes. He urged parents whose own little boys expressed a desire to wear a dress to verbally abuse and degrade them as a viable response. "Because you know what? Boys don't wear high heel shoes. And in my house, they definitely don't wear high heels.

"I'm going to go, 'You know what? You're a little idiot! You little dumbass!'" States sneered, adding later, "I look forward to when [the transgender children] go out into society and society beats them down. And they wind up in therapy."

Or dead.

In light of the well-publicized suicides this year of the two boys who took their own lives because of bullying and harassment for "acting gay" (which, in the argot of modern North American teenagers, often refers to acting in a way considered unmasculine by their peers) the stunning lack of moral sensibility on the part of States and Williams is breathtaking. But it also points to the increasingly degraded landscape of talk radio.

The causal link between Bill O'Reilly's obsessive baiting of abortion provider Dr. George Tiller on FOX and Tiller's murder on Sunday, May 31st as he was ushering in his Kansas City church, is currently being explored, an exploration particularly relevant in the case of Rob, Arnie, and Dawn in the Morning, and the potential violent fallout from their inexplicably rage-filled invective against not only transgender children, but even boys who err on the feminine side of standard adolescent behavior, behavior States and Williams consider unnatural because "men are hunters and women are gatherers."

I shudder to imagine the response of the late Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover's mother if she'd had the misfortune to hear the KRXQ broadcast.

"They were always saying [to Carl] 'You're gay, you must be gay, you act like a girl'," Sideaner L. Walker told the press in April, speaking of the dead son she had to cut down from the support beam he hung himself from after months of taunts from his peers---taunts that likely bore more than a passing resemblance to the invective used by States and Williams on their May 28th broadcast.

"I'm not open-minded once I look into sumpin'" one of the two men grunted at the beginning of the segment, their voices interchangeable. "I have every right to call you a freak and judge you on that. It makes me sick. 'Mommy, I'm a girl trapped in a boy's body,'" he simpered, mimicking an effeminate little boy. "I want to wear a dwess."

They berated co-host Dawn Rossi, who seemed genuinely horrified by the rising crescendo of ugliness towards the children and their parents from States and Williams.

"You're actually defending allowing people to become freaks?" they seethed. "A boy who wants to wear a dress is a freak. A nut." Comparing transgender children to "fat bastard kids on Maury," States and Williams urged advocates of transgender children to "stop hiding behind research and laws," whose authority they wholeheartedly reject. Braying with the certitude of the jubilantly ignorant, States and Williams revealed to listeners that "transgenders [sic] did not exist four decades ago," apparently unaware of the historical fact that transgender individuals have existed in every culture throughout recorded history, including in native American cultures where the "two spirited" were revered as teachers, healers, and shamans.

By no objective standard are dumbed-down, Wal-Mart versions of O'Reilly like States and Williams journalists. Nor are they really experts on anything other than plunging the overflowing toilets of their listeners' psyches and selling the sewage back to them, repackaged as "insight," "common sense" and "plain talk" from fake-macho blowhards hiding behind radio microphones.

One doesn't need a primer on transgender or transsexual history in order to appreciate the awesome brutality of the KRXQ shock-jocks' diatribe. All one needs is to know a child, any child. They're small, they're vulnerable, and their world is populated with gods whose divinity is derived solely from their adulthood and perceived authority.

States and Williams chose to use that authority to attack a segment of the childhood population who are more vulnerable than almost any other. Transgender children are at a point in their lives when they feel their own bodies are the enemy, and alien to them. Many of them go to bed praying that when they wake up their bodies and their inner gender will be aligned.

"If the kid ever gets to be eighteen," States snarled, "and says 'I still feel like a woman!' you say, 'Get out! Go be a freak! And understand, SON, that society will never accept you because we still have some moral judgment."

As disturbing as it has become to an increasingly enlightened segment of the mainstream American population to hear LGBT adults vilified and degraded in the media as the discussion over gay marriage and Don't Ask, Don't Tell reaches a boiling point, no one with even a passing acquaintanceship with decency could have been prepared for KRXQ's May 28th pageant of brutality towards transgender children.

Who are, after all, children, first and foremost. Trusting, innocent, and vulnerable, they ought to be beyond the reach of the violent, hate-mongering adult rhetoric that is taken for granted in American talk radio. One needs no particular sympathy for transgender people to understand the prodigious boundary transgression of promoting contempt and disgust towards children,anyone's children, on a radio show.

This should give serious pause to adults of every political, economic, and social background, whatever their stand on LGBT issues. It should be of particular concern to KRXQ's advertisers and their customers.

My little godson Michael is the light of my life. His father was a hockey player and his mother is a legendary beauty. He embodies the best of those two people to absolute perfection. It's been educational to watch his awareness of his own masculine gender assert itself in the last few years. His gender identity wasn't "learned," it came to him already hardwired, in the same way studies continue to show that a transgender child's gender is hardwired. And whatever else his struggles may be in later life, I personally doubt that gender identity is going to be one of them.

But his gentleness and his vulnerability brings my protectiveness into hyper-focus. And if he wanted to wear a dress, or told me he was a girl, my instinct as an adult would be to protect him and try to understand him.

I can only imagine the perfect horror of having someone like States as a father. But if anyone ever called my godson a "sick little freak," or a "nut," or a "freak of nature," or beat him with a shoe for being himself, I could not, and would not, be held accountable for my reaction, or my inevitable response.

I know which end of the shoe I would be on if I ever met another adult who took the official Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning child-rearing advice to heart after hearing it on KRXQ 98.5 FM Sacramento.

Pics From Second Sat Like I Promised

Second Saturday in march

Me and my girlfriend went out this last second Saturday in Sacramento and I couldn't believe how many people were out enjoying the beutiful night. Now in the past I might have not even gone out knowing that downtown would have had so many people out and about but deffinatly am not the same candice I was almost a year ago.

Earlier on sat we went shopping and I bought the cutest little super short black silk dress(pics coming soon) so I knew I was only going to be pretty that night but I was going to be hot.

When we were walking around downtown it was windy and my silk dress kept blowing up other then that it was really nice to feel so pretty around town with so many people around... That night I filt as hot as any girl would


-- Post From My iPhone

Last Night

My girlfriend Chelsea, Lindsay, Mike and me all went out last night to the Mercantile, Faces and Hot Rods it was a pretty good night there was a couple if instances with this really drunk guy trying to touch my boobs and was messing with Lindsay and Chelsea as well but the security guard stopped him. anyways it was a good nite i had bought some new make up and it worked perfectly and had fun with some friends

more Black and Whites

Jude Law like you have never seen before

E! News Now - Jude Looks Like a Lady

Black and White

Pictures from getting ready on Saturday 02-07-08

MOVIES

A trend of transgender movies

A feast of transgender and intersex films are highlighted at the Austin Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival

By Chris Garcia
AMERICAN-STATESMAN FILM WRITER
Friday, August 29, 2008

Do nine transgender and intersex films make a trend? They do if they're all playing during the Austin Gay and Lesbian International Film Festival, Wednesday through Sept. 7.

Films about transgender characters are not as rare as you might think. A raft of contemporary features — 'The Crying Game,' 'Boys Don't Cry,' 'Hedwig and the Angry Inch,' 'Transamerica,' to name a few — dealt seriously with the issue. At least two entire film festivals — in Seattle and the Netherlands — are devoted to transgender-themed movies.

And now this bounty at Austin's running-strong gay and lesbian film celebration, movies that walk the tricky line between gender identification, be it physical, psychological, or both. All films screen at the Alamo Ritz. Find more information about each title at www.agliff.org.

'Manuela y Manuel' (5 p.m. Wednesday) — The star of this Puerto Rican feature is the transgender Manuela, a drag-queen performer who finds herself in a heap of difficulties, including having to pose as the father of her best friend's child.

'Trinidad' (8 p.m. Thursday) — An intimate look at three transgender women's lives in the rural burgh of Trinidad, Colo., the unofficial 'sex change capital of the world.' By Austin filmmakers PJ Raval and Jay Hodges.

'Like a Virgin' (8 p.m. Sept. 5 on two screens) — This mainstream South Korean hit blends pathos and comedy to etch a portrait of a fat, Madonna-adoring teenager who's trying to save money for a sex-change operation. Hilarity and heartache follow.

'XXY' (3 p.m. Sept. 7) — Born with an extra chromosome, Alex is an intersex teenager who was raised female in this popular coming-of-age drama from Argentina. Parents, romance, plastic surgery ... And you thought your teen years were tough.

These shorts are part of the Gender Queer Shorts program at 2:30 p.m. Sept. 7:

'Tranny McGuyver' — A trio of rookie cops creates a circus of winky satire.

'Clouded' —A young boy's journey to self-discovery hits dramatic familial hurdles.

'Simply Love' — A woman in Austria looks for a former lover, who is now a woman. Love really is blind in this 50-minute documentary.

'Diva'— Paris isn't always so lovely, as Vincent, in a blinding magenta dress, learns painfully.

'I, I and We' — Surreal identity games on the New York subway. — Chris Garcia